Terms and Conditions for fun.wd².us
Overview and Definitions
If you (“You”, also indicated by “Your”) request any information from this site, (e.g. application, code, image assets, or other [binary] component parts) (“Application”, “App”, “Code”, or “Site”) of an amount greater than 1 bit (⅛-byte), or the same amount from any other site that has been authored, created, or implemented (“Authored”) by this organization or any parent organization (“Us”, also indicated by “We”, and “Our”) you will be bound by the following terms and conditions (“Terms”). In the event that any portion of these Terms shall be found unenforceable, all other portions of these Terms shall remain en force. Moreover, in the event that Your relationship with Us is severed (e.g. through disuse), the entirety of these Terms shall survive in all of their scathing, boring, impotent glory.
Monthly Fee Structure
By using this Site, you “agree” to pay Us a monthly payment of 100USD forever. That amount is inflation-adjusted at an annual rate thus:
100 * ( 1.025 ^ ( this year - 2000 ) ) … which may also be written …
100 × 1.025(this year-2000)
In 2017, that would work out thus:
100 × 1.025(2017-2000) → …
100 × 1.02517 → …
100 × 1.4845056206606 → …
148.45056206606 → …
… which should be rounded up to the nearest dollar …
So, as of today, and for the rest of this year, You would be responsible to remit this amount to
me [cough] Us monthly:
By visiting this site You hereby relinquish your right to relief in cases of tort. If You are harmed by Us, no dice. What if We knew that this App could cause harm? No rights. What if it is proven that We injected bad code intentionally, and with malice? You have no remedy. Not only do You agree to hold Us harmless, You even agree to indemnify Us. (We are not sure what indemnification is, but Our lawyers told Us that We pretty much have to have an indemnity clause, especially since We have wittingly injected so much malicious code into previous projects. And if that portion of these Terms is found unlawful in your jurisdiction or location, then You still have to hold Us harmless and indemnify Us, because reasons.
And if You do want to sue Us for any other reason, You may (that means must) use the arbitrator of Our choosing. It happens that that is the same arbitrator that We pay. And it is also the case that they know that if they consistently find against us, we will take our money elsewhere).
You may not bring or be a party to a class-action suit, because that’s a lot of money. Dang.
Still Want to Sue
These Terms will be interpreted and enforced in the state of our choosing (the one most likely to have judges that will find in our favor). The Terms were written in ‘Merican, and if there are found to be any differences between versions of these Terms that have been interpreted into other languages like British, or Mexican) then the version We wrote will win, because ‘Merica!
Demagogue Epilogue i.e. TL;DR
I am not saying that terms and conditions are never lawful, or enforceable, etc. But if someone can write them as broadly as they do, and you can enter into them implicitly by doing something like visiting a site, the potential for harm is virtually limitless, and exceedingly, demonstrably unreasonable.